10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes

soumya · 07-09-2008, 12:20 AM

Love or hate Microsoft, these 10 quotes would make both a fan and a hater laugh their heart out. These are so funny and well thought out. I had a good laugh after reading them and I bet you would too!

My friend, Ashish, showed me these hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes from BOARD OF WISDOM

I picked up 10 quotes from there and here they are :-

1) People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

2) The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

3) In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

4) Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

5) MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

6) Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.

7) Use The Best...
Linux for Servers
Mac for Graphics
Palm for Mobility
Windows for Solitaire

8 ) Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.

9) Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly.

10) ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows!

Which is your favorite quote among these? Please let me know in the comments!

<snip>

Faun · 07-09-2008, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soumya

5) MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

lolz...its true

**MetalheadGautham** · 07-09-2008, 12:31 AM

To be honest, I have seen better ones, though I can't remember any.

amrawtanshx · 07-09-2008, 03:31 AM

Quote:

2) The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

dheeraj_kumar · 07-09-2008, 07:39 AM

thanks! the site(board of wisdom) is really cool!

hellknight · 07-09-2008, 09:48 AM

"Software is like sex; its better when its free! This was quoted by Linus Torvalds!

mkmkmk · 07-09-2008, 09:51 AM

thanks for board of wisdom link

Vishal Patil · 07-09-2008, 10:34 AM

Awesome!!!! My favourite ones are

Quote:

5) MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
10) ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows!

Garbage · 07-09-2008, 11:26 AM

Quote:

10) ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows!

LOL...

BBThumbHealer · 07-09-2008, 12:06 PM

Hey ... Thnx for sharing ! these are cool...never heard of them before !

Quote:

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

This One's my favorite !

NucleusKore · 07-09-2008, 01:06 PM

Thanks for sharing

krates · 07-09-2008, 01:22 PM

6) Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.

2) The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

lolz..

axxo · 07-09-2008, 01:31 PM

This isn't a news I reckon should be moved to chit chat.

amitash · 07-09-2008, 02:05 PM

u fgot this one

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

Quad Core · 07-09-2008, 02:07 PM

al d 10 r good..

Faun · 07-09-2008, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amitash

13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

lolz

nvidia · 07-09-2008, 02:27 PM

Quote:

The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

ROFL

iMav · 07-09-2008, 02:32 PM

Quote:

1) People say that if you play Apple CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install OS X.

This is by far the whackiest if someone was to ask me.

nvidia · 07-09-2008, 02:34 PM

^^Lolz..

R2K · 07-09-2008, 03:55 PM

lol...........too good

chandru.in · 07-09-2008, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iMav

Quote:

1) People say that if you play Apple CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install OS X.

This is by far the whackiest if someone was to ask me.

Seriously manan, you gotta learn to enjoy humor without having "How to defend Microsoft" in your mind 24x7.

Faun · 07-09-2008, 04:33 PM

^^lolz...yeah

Life is more than softwares and these companies

R2K · 07-09-2008, 04:41 PM

Quote:

8 ) Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.

well i don't think it is true in all cases

iMav · 07-09-2008, 04:47 PM

Quite an irony as to who is telling me to enjoy humor!

R2K · 07-09-2008, 05:01 PM

^^
sorry but i didn't understand

karmanya · 07-09-2008, 05:10 PM

Incidentally, the 3rd one has been misquoted- It actually is "In a world without fences, who needs gates?" by scott mcnealy
check this page out
http://humorix.org/slogans/

iMav · 07-09-2008, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmanya

Incidentally, the 3rd one has been misquoted- It actually is "In a world without fences, who needs gates?" by scott mcnealy
check this page out
http://humorix.org/slogans/

It's not been mis-quoted. It was supposed to be as it is.

ajaybc · 07-09-2008, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amitash

u fgot this one

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

haha.....great

Indyan · 07-09-2008, 10:59 PM

This isn't really news. So I am moving this to Chit Chat.

And my fav quote :

Quote:

4) Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

Psychosocial · 07-09-2008, 11:36 PM

My Fav. -->

6) Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.

07-09-2008, 12:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
soumya In The Zone Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Barasat, Kolkata Posts: 351	10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes Love or hate Microsoft, these 10 quotes would make both a fan and a hater laugh their heart out. These are so funny and well thought out. I had a good laugh after reading them and I bet you would too! My friend, Ashish, showed me these hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes from BOARD OF WISDOM I picked up 10 quotes from there and here they are :- 1) People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows. 2) The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX. 3) In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows? 4) Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips." 5) MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers 6) Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue. 7) Use The Best... Linux for Servers Mac for Graphics Palm for Mobility Windows for Solitaire 8 ) Software is like sex: It's better when it's free. 9) Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly. 10) ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows! Which is your favorite quote among these? Please let me know in the comments! <snip> __________________ I blog at http://windowsxperience.wordpress.com/ Last edited by Hitboxx; 07-09-2008 at 08:18 AM. Reason: no self ads

07-09-2008, 12:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
MetalheadGautham The Smaller Bang Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Gautham City Posts: 7,431	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes To be honest, I have seen better ones, though I can't remember any. __________________ http://TheSmallerBang.wordpress.com eMachines E725 - T4400 2.2GHz, 1GB, 160GB Nokia 5130XM * T-Sonic 610 2GB Nokia 2323C * Samsung Galaxy Y Apple iPad 2 16GB WiFi

07-09-2008, 07:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
dheeraj_kumar Legen-wait for it-dary! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Chennai Posts: 2,471	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes thanks! the site(board of wisdom) is really cool! __________________ If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started. - Actual excerpt from a windows program help file

07-09-2008, 09:48 AM	#6 (permalink)
hellknight BSD init pwns System V Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: atapi.sys as Stuxnet Posts: 1,076	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes "Software is like sex; its better when its free! This was quoted by Linus Torvalds! __________________ My blog :- www.openenclave.wordpress.com

07-09-2008, 09:51 AM	#7 (permalink)
mkmkmk In The Zone Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: pune Posts: 468	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes thanks for board of wisdom link

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07-09-2008, 01:06 PM	#11 (permalink)
NucleusKore TheSaint Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Antigua Posts: 3,444	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes Thanks for sharing __________________ http://www.neville.in http://www.linuxrocks.in "The Future Is Open"

07-09-2008, 01:22 PM	#12 (permalink)
krates Be CoOl rAp RuLeZ !!! Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,968	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes 6) Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue. 2) The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX. lolz.. __________________ iPhone 3G 16GB + Samsung I450 + Sennheiser CXL 400 + PSP Phat + Samsung NC10 Previous phones: N73ME , W810I , Asus P320

07-09-2008, 01:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
axxo 99.9% Idle Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 775	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes This isn't a news I reckon should be moved to chit chat. __________________ Unban praka123

07-09-2008, 02:05 PM	#14 (permalink)
amitash Intel OCer Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,101	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes u fgot this one At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats. 6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. 8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. 11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department. 12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine. __________________ My site: collegeclassroom.org intel core i7-920\|\|eVGA x58 sli\|\|G-skill 6GB DDR3-1600\| ZOTAC GTX480\|\|Tagan BZ700\|\|Antec 900\|\|Logitech G15\|\|Razer Death Adder and Megalodon

07-09-2008, 02:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
Quad Core Right Off the Assembly Line Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: COimbatore. Posts: 39	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes al d 10 r good.. __________________ Cant Stop Rolling In The Streets of Rockfort - Addicted!!!

07-09-2008, 02:34 PM	#19 (permalink)
nvidia -----ATi----- Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 2,317	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes ^^Lolz.. __________________ http://twitter.com/akshayms

07-09-2008, 03:55 PM	#20 (permalink)
R2K In the Zone Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: with your girlfriend Posts: 370	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes lol...........too good __________________ Acer Aspire 4930G laptop- Core 2 Duo T5800 3GB ram, 320GB+LG XG1(2TB),nVIDIA 9300GS 256MB,FingerPrint Scanner,HDMI, 802.11a/b/g/Draft N Wifi

07-09-2008, 04:33 PM	#22 (permalink)
Faun Wahahaha~! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Pune/there Posts: 7,109	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes ^^lolz...yeah Life is more than softwares and these companies __________________ Steam/Flickr: psygeist Spoiler: Asus Z68 V-Pro\|i5 2500k\|TRUE Black\|Ripjaws X+Corsair Vengeance\|U2311H\|N560GTX\|D7000\|XONAR STX\|RE272\|RE0\|CC51\|XE200PRO Walnut\| TD II V2\| Ultraphile\|N5800 Mono

07-09-2008, 04:47 PM	#24 (permalink)
iMav The Devil's Advocate Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Masti Ki Paathshaala Posts: 7,015	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes Quite an irony as to who is telling me to enjoy humor! __________________ "The problem that shows up with the three red lights on the console is a complex interaction with some very complex parts.” - Robbie Bach http://beingmanan.com twitter: manan \| Last.FM: manan

07-09-2008, 05:01 PM	#25 (permalink)
R2K In the Zone Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: with your girlfriend Posts: 370	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes ^^ sorry but i didn't understand __________________ Acer Aspire 4930G laptop- Core 2 Duo T5800 3GB ram, 320GB+LG XG1(2TB),nVIDIA 9300GS 256MB,FingerPrint Scanner,HDMI, 802.11a/b/g/Draft N Wifi

07-09-2008, 05:10 PM	#26 (permalink)
karmanya In The Zone Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 227	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes Incidentally, the 3rd one has been misquoted- It actually is "In a world without fences, who needs gates?" by scott mcnealy check this page out http://humorix.org/slogans/ __________________ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure

07-09-2008, 11:36 PM	#30 (permalink)
Psychosocial Violent serenity. Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Six feet under. Posts: 3,690	Re: 10 hilarious anti-Microsoft quotes My Fav. --> 6) Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue. __________________ Registered pwner of theists, noobs, posers and emos.

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