Interview at Infosys [Joke ]

DigitalImmigrant · 16-06-2007, 10:50 AM

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I cannot invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know , these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative ..

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: He he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'versioncontrol', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys

medigit · 16-06-2007, 12:01 PM

is this real....

sachin_kothari · 16-06-2007, 12:08 PM

i got this email 2 years back.
dont know if its true.

fun2sh · 16-06-2007, 12:16 PM

my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd if its true THEN MAIN BE PADH KAR KYA KARUNGA. ISE TO AISE HI NAUKARI MIL GAYI AUR MAIN YAHAN ENGG ME ROJ APAN DIMAG KHAPATA HUN.

BBThumbHealer · 16-06-2007, 01:08 PM

overall gud but this seemed strange ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by DigitalImmigrant

Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys

how can they do this ??

Quote:

Originally Posted by fun2sh

my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd if its true THEN MAIN BE PADH KAR KYA KARUNGA. ISE TO AISE HI NAUKARI MIL GAYI AUR MAIN YAHAN ENGG ME ROJ APAN DIMAG KHAPATA HUN.

then y don't u go ahead ?

.... make this man ur idol !

sachin_kothari · 16-06-2007, 01:10 PM

^^ first need to check if its true.
and if it is i am also in the line

Quiz_Master · 16-06-2007, 01:18 PM

It can't be real.
But ofcourse its hilarious.

"Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!"

And this one

"Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!"
_____________
Actuallly every sinhle bit was hilarious. Amazing. U made my day.

Lucky_star · 16-06-2007, 01:19 PM

ROFL

Quote:

Originally Posted by medigit

is this real....

Infosys has more than 70,000 people working worldwide. If they take people like this, then soon it will be the global leader in IT.

If Infy ever asked questions like this, then no student would ever think of anythng else.

i_am_crack · 16-06-2007, 02:34 PM

Kool to read on saturday...

vish786 · 16-06-2007, 03:31 PM

is this stuff real... @author of this thread

**Apollo** · 16-06-2007, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackBerry7100g

how can they do this ??

Last year, an undergrad-engineer friend of mine was picked up by TCS via campus recruitments. He had listed studying the share market as one of his hobbies under his resume, and the only question he was asked in the PI was to state the previous day's share price of TCS. He got the job.

iMav · 16-06-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackBerry7100g

how can they do this ??

if this was campus recruitment i am not surprised that the guy was hired coz as it is first 2 years they make u do nothing and ur just having fun and some time spent on training other than that its all time pass no work at infy and tcs

Lucky_star · 16-06-2007, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iMav

if this was campus recruitment i am not surprised that the guy was hired coz as it is first 2 years they make u do nothing and ur just having fun and some time spent on training other than that its all time pass no work at infy and tcs

Who said you that?

iMav · 16-06-2007, 03:46 PM

every 1 of my friends who have been employed there last year and the yr before that

and all my cousin's friend who got recruited there last year and before that

Lucky_star · 16-06-2007, 03:50 PM

^^^Is it? Yippppeeee
Actually I got selected in Tcs this year, and as far as I know, the job is somwhat difficult for the first 2 years, as they make freshers to do heavy job.
iMav, thanks for the info you gave

iMav · 16-06-2007, 03:54 PM

man my aggregate wasnt sufficient so wasnt eligible but from what every 1has told me that the first 2 years of training are fun but if theres some project that springs up they might turn towards u but infy toh im sure its fun tcs only 2 guys have given me feedback ... infy bahut log hain

sandeepk · 16-06-2007, 04:40 PM

This one is old but still good!!!

praka123 · 16-06-2007, 06:28 PM

Isnt this the reason one man some "subramanya" got ditched off from Infy.i remember reading "skit" made by this infosys employee criticizing how infy newbies waiting for job there as "benchies"

aryayush · 16-06-2007, 06:58 PM

Why are so many people wondering whether this is real or not! Do you need someone to confirm it to you that it is just a (very poor) joke!

Pathik · 16-06-2007, 07:01 PM

^^ if that s the case then i am ready to confirm it

... Its a poor joke...

Tech.Masti · 16-06-2007, 07:38 PM

^^ yah ,Its just a joke

praka123 · 16-06-2007, 08:24 PM

but then why these companies taking B.Sc grads too even from normal colleges for eg; in kerala.

iMav · 16-06-2007, 08:55 PM

well the main reason for companies like tcs and infy for hiring 10k+ recruits every yr is so tht they do not have man shortage which is considered to be the biggest road block for any company .... now things have changed skilled man power available is scarce hence these ppl recruit any 1 ....

extc engg are hired by tcs and infy wat more can 1 say .... besides everything tht u r supposed to do thr u r trained for so its no big deal for them

now these guys know tht out of 10k+ a lot will leave so the next yr agan 10k+

Quiz_Master · 16-06-2007, 08:57 PM

A little offtopic but I found this in my mail. Really Funny.

Why student fails in exam???????

It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, Because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days.

5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat)-means 30days. Balance 96 days.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days . Balance 81 days.

7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance 3 days.

10. Movies and functions at least 2 days. Balance 1 day.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.

"How can a student pass????"