Poor Jokes Thread

[ajaybc]

^ Awesome

Another one :

A man called his home at night. The servant guy picked up the phone.

Man : I want to talk my wife.

Servant : Sorry madam is in room with her husband now.

Man : WHAT ?!! I am her husband. That must be her lover. You do one thing, take a gun and shoot them both in the head. I will pay you whatever you want and I will make sure you dont get in trouble.

Servant: Okay...Hold on... [shots fired]...Sir I have killed them both and put the bodies in the swimming pool.

Man: What ?? Swimming pool ?? I dont have a swimming pool at home. Oh wait sh1t. Wrong number! [hangs up]

[DeSmOnD dAvId]

^

Not PJ though.

[rezurect007]

I was excited last night when I thought I found a film about a magic caravan, but it was just a trailer.

How do you make a vegetarian chilli?
Steal his coat.


Even though I've been married for five years I still can't help thinking about the one that got away. My wife's ex. What a lucky ba*stard.


I was in Tesco today when I noticed a little old man struggling to get something from the top shelf.
"I can't reach it, I can't reach it" he kept saying to himself.
I walked over and said, "I can do that."
I took my shoes off, knelt down on top of them and said, "I can't reach it, I can't reach it."

I've just subscribed to Sheep Farmers weekly magazine.
I was delighted to receive a free pen.


My neighbours just complained that I was out in the back garden wearing nothing but my boxers today.
I don't see what the problem is, I think they make a lovely sun hat.


I'm beginning to think my imaginary girlfriend is cheating on me.
She says it's all in my head.

[Arrow->]

Some jokes are good not poor.

[toad_frog09]

Knock knock

[Nipun]

Knock knock

"Who's that?"

"Arfur"

"Arfur who?"

"I fur got"

[Faun]

Ni pun intended

[$$Lionking$$]

A man sailing in a boat having 3 sacks of rise.He has a a cigarette in his hand and he wants to light but he doesnt have a lighter then how to do it?

Spoiler:

Just throw down the sacks of rise then the boat will become 'lighter' then he can use it

or he could drop a few drops of water on the cigarette to light it....

tip tip barsa paani.... paani ne aag lagayi....

[Nipun]

or he could drop a few drops of water on the cigarette to light it....

Tip tip barsa paani.... Paani ne aag lagayi.... :d :d

y u no read my post?

[toad_frog09]

"Who's that?"

"Arfur"

"Arfur who?"

"I fur got"

.
.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Imma.
Imma who?
Imma kick your freakin' a$$ If you steal my post again.
.

.
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno I'm gonna kick your freakin' a$$ now, right?
.
.
.
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Dont cry, Nipun, I haven't kicked your freakin' a$$ yet!
.
.

[$$Lionking$$]

.
.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Imma.
Imma who?
Imma kick your freakin' a$$ If you steal my post again.
.

.
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno I'm gonna kick your freakin' a$$ now, right?
.
.
.
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Dont cry, Nipun, I haven't kicked your freakin' a$$ yet!
.
.

Nipun - Sorry bro! ROFLCOPTER!

[RCuber]

crap.. I was suppose to be preparing to a interview tomorrow today morning at 9.. I ended up in this thread

[toad_frog09]

Go tell this joke, you'll get selected.
.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No sir, Cows go moo.

[Nipun]

I am on a Sea Food Diet.
.

.

.

.

.

I eat food when I see it.

--

I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat

[$$Lionking$$]

Go tell this joke, you'll get selected.
.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No sir, Cows go moo.

hahahaha... Killer stuff dude... ur on a rollll!!! !

[rezurect007]

As I grabbed my cock and held it firmly in my hands I thought to myself 'this is going to get messy.' I grabbed the nearest sharp implement, my cleaver, and chopped at the head hard. As mangled as it was it refused to come off. I clenched my cleaver harder and swung with a mighty swing, chopping the head clean off with dark red blood spurting everywhere, just veins and arteries were left hanging from the core.

Anyway, I hate my job as a poultry farmer.




No rest for the wicked.

probably why I've got insomnia I suppose



My mum never let me play with scissors when I was younger.

I could only use rock or paper.




I got my girlfriend really wet yesterday and she didn't like it when I squirted all over her face, she kept shouting 'WHAT ARE YOU A CHILD?!?!'

But the weather was so good I had to get her with my water gun.



My teacher just told me we have an exam on Monday.
That's an oddly specific subject.

In my spare time I like to dress up as a knight, and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.
I call myself Medieval Knievel.

A really sexy girl asked for my number this morning.
All I did was hit her car with my car.

I don't know what sort of animal the Sham is.
But its poo has done wonders for my hair

I couldn't finish all my food so the waitress asked me, "Excuse me sir, do you wanna box for that?"
"No, but I'll arm wrestle you for it." I replied

Not even in my wildest dreams did I think I'd work in a LSD factory run by french ginger unicorns.

My maths teacher gave me additional subtraction as a punishment. I don't know how to take it..

I was on a charity obstacle course race with my girlfriend when she fell, hit her head and died whilst attempting to climb over a wall.
I got over it.


It's always been a pipedream of mine to quit my job and work in an arcade but I'm scared of change

For years I struggled to make a sound when snapping my fingers.
Then suddenly it clicked.

The doctor just told me that I'm partially deaf, which was difficult to hear.

"Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a pharmacist!" my daughter exclaimed.
"Why on earth would she want to be a helper on a farm?" I thought to myself

I saw a man wearing a pink jacket and leather hot pants today. He was shouting at everyone.
He was a raging homosexual.

I've recently started a job retrieving litter.
It didn't require any training, I just picked it up as I went along.

I haven't yet established myself in Snooker.
I'm just waiting for my big break.

The EU can go f*ck themselves!
And the other vowels can p*ss off as well.

I just discovered a cure for the fact half of my face has collapsed on one side.
It's a stroke of genius.

playing chess improves intelligence, which is why I frequently play chess with the computer on the hardest level.
it keeps me in check.

[Swapnil26sps]

Santa purchased a crow as a pet for him. The crow was so soft so santa named it "my-crow-soft"

Santa purchased a crow as a pet for him. The crow was so soft so santa named it "my-crow-soft"

[Anorion]

Mens rights.

[techiemaharaj]

Q: What is the volume of the brain of a person who has lost his memory ???
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
.....
Ans: 1/3pi*r^2h (1/3 pi(3.14) r square h)
Coz he'll always say "MAIN CONE-(kaun) HOON"
and volume of cone is 1/3pir^2h !!!!

[axes2t2]

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

[Faun]

Mens rights.

Women rights.

[Assassini]

coudn't have been a better thread.
Another pj
Y do women watch sony's bade achhe lagte hain....?
A:Kyonki unhi BADE hi ache lagte hain.Small ones not of their business

[dashing.sujay]

"humein bhi BADE acche lagte hain"

[KDroid]

^^

[saikiasunny]

CONFUSING PJ
Tomorrow's yesterday is
today...
and Yesterday's
tomorrow is also today...
but Today's yesterday
was yesterday's today...
so Tomorrow's today is
today's tomorrow.
ENJOY a confusing PJ.

[Swapnil26sps]

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

you already posted it before

[Nipun]

CONFUSING PJ
Tomorrow's yesterday is
today...
and Yesterday's
tomorrow is also today...
but Today's yesterday
was yesterday's today...
so Tomorrow's today is
today's tomorrow.
ENJOY a confusing PJ.

How is it joke?

[saikiasunny]

Do we always need a joke to laugh :-P

[axes2t2]

you already posted it before

Really :O

[aaruni]

What would you call a fat woman weighing herself?

Moti-Weightion (motivation)