Joke: Guidelines for posting on this forum.

alexanderthegreat · 22-02-2009, 10:44 AM

CAUTION:This is just a joke for light reading (But sadly, this is the unspoken truth!). The real rules are the exact opposite of the guidelines posted below.
The poster recommends people follow the real rules (Link in signature).

<satire>
Guidelines for posting on this forum, and for getting a proper response:- (Otherwise, you'll be ignored like hell!)
1. NEVER use the search feature before posting. Usage of the search feature will result in more bandwidth usage for this forum's servers. Being as crappy as the servers are, that will most probably result in server overload and you will be banned from the forums for all eternity.

Moreover, the search feature will only take its time getting cozy and take a nap and return results which look alien to you.

2. If you find the problem to your solution even before posting, don't stop! Post it anyway! It will earn you post count as post count IS counted in Across the Board section.

3. In spite of the forum rules and guidelines asking you to use proper titles for posts, NEVER use proper titles. Titles which express the exact prolem you've got are very unpleasing to look at. I mean come on! Who'd like to read "Error code 1337x6743872EE at POST in AMI BIOS". Instead of all this, type in titles that are nice to look at. Titles like "!!!!!!Plz!!!! Hlp!!! URGNT!!!!!!!" look waaay too cool and catch more attention. Thus:-
"DevC++ compilation error :<error message here>" - Bad
"Dev C++ won't compile my program! It hates me, boo hoo" - Good
"Plz Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt hlp reqd." - Smart
"!!!!!!Plz!!!!! Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt!!!! hlp reqd.!!!!!" -Best (and cool)
Never forget to decorate your title with lots of cool(read: incessant) '!'s and '?'s

4. NEVER get to the point in the first line! The first line should be used to describe your favourite itching spot or your dog's new mental illness which was caused because you stole it's new pair of socks.

5. Post your problem several times all across the board. This may result in you getting warned by any moderator but your original post WILL get noticed!

6. Dig out reeeally old threads and just reply to them with "^^+1" or "I agree". You will be considered the coolest kid in the block! The thread might get locked but your post count will be retained!

7. Never post in the right section! If a mod moves it, it will grab his attnetion and he will reply to it after he moves it.

8. In the news section, just post random comments even if you don't have a damned clue about what is being reported.

9. Post tutorials like "Press Space bar! See? It enters a space! See? Cool, eh?"

10. Post count is everything! Remember that! Whenever you spot a spam post, ALWAYS reply with "*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!".
</satire>

No offence intended to any human, mole rat, rabbit or dog, fictional or real!
No animals were harmed in the making of this post. (Except the dog who's socks got stolen).

Kl@w-24 · 22-02-2009, 01:05 PM

Ahh, finally someone has unearthed the unwritten set of rules for this forum!!

comp@ddict · 22-02-2009, 01:17 PM

Nice one
this shud be made sticky

Liverpool_fan · 22-02-2009, 01:20 PM

iinfi · 22-02-2009, 01:24 PM

will try to follow these from now on.

Krazy Bluez · 22-02-2009, 01:25 PM

Heee hee heee.....now I'm really gonna try it someday.....

rhitwick · 22-02-2009, 01:52 PM

On behalf of Alexander (without taking his permission though) I say, everyone has his right to express his damn views...

Every post is welcome

No reporting

Everyone get hold of SPAMbots, when u r tired of posting use them

Spammers are always right (b4 reporting them plz find out if theres' any human or living being behind it, then he/she/it has right to fcuking SAY)
Unban all old member who were accused of spamming and flaming

**Anorion** · 22-02-2009, 02:25 PM

*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!

My second favorite itching spot took offence

max_demon · 22-02-2009, 02:30 PM

^+1

j1n M@tt · 22-02-2009, 03:13 PM

lol.....i hav followed almost all these rules when I was noob here

Kl@w-24 · 22-02-2009, 03:18 PM

Haaaaiiii!!!!!!! I am having problem with my computer. I think it hates me. Whenever I start it up, nothing happens. Monitor does not show anything!!!

My vendor said that I should get the RAM checked!!!!! What the hell is RAM?? I thought there were only the monitor, CPU, keyboard & mouse in a computer!!!
Please please please, help me!! I will be forever greatfulllll to you!!!! Please!!!!!

alexanderthegreat · 22-02-2009, 03:21 PM

^^You forgot the ultimate anti eye weapon! The SMS language.

Anyway, I posted this (out of frustration) because this is exactly what people do.

Kl@w-24 · 22-02-2009, 03:22 PM

Oops!!!!! Sry my baD!! I wil try nt 2 rept d sm mistk agn!!!!

gopi_vbboy · 22-02-2009, 03:28 PM

the truth is ur imperfections gets us to more noticing than being normal

victor_rambo · 22-02-2009, 09:51 PM

make this thread sticky

ring_wraith · 22-02-2009, 10:28 PM

Finally, some original humour with a purpose. Dog thing was fantastic

[Celebrates increase in post count]

6x6 · 22-02-2009, 10:48 PM

^^+1

krates · 22-02-2009, 11:12 PM

^^+1

j1n M@tt · 22-02-2009, 11:21 PM

hey guys, post count will not increase by posting here "^^+1"

Kl@w-24 · 22-02-2009, 11:22 PM

Good article. I wholeheartedly agree with the views expressed in this article.

__________________________________________________ ________

For best deals on branded mobile phones visit www.spammymobile.com

a_k_s_h_a_y · 22-02-2009, 11:44 PM

Way Back in 2000 I got my First PC. I was 12 years old Then.

It my first time with computers. I changed the screen saver in Windows 98 to That space screen saver, Changed the wallpaper. That was enough to put me on Top of Mount Everest on 1st day !! Was big time on cloud nine.
Win 98 SE ruled those days.

It was PIII, 64 MB SD RAM, Intel 810 Chipset, 15GB Quantum FileBall HDD, 15inch Samsung CRT V55 Motherboard.

Then i started to subscribe to Computers@Home Magazine, Then started my Geek Life !
Every month on the 5th I used to wake up early and wait at my house door open wide for the Magazine,
First thing i would check out was the Games That were in the in DISK provided with the magazine.

hmmm Those were the days !! And now............. huh !!

rhitwick · 22-02-2009, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kl@w-24

For best deals on branded mobile phones visit www.spammymobile.com

Tu "Ad" kyoin kar raha hai??
And d site is not opening...

Quote:

Originally Posted by a_k_s_h_a_y

Way Back in 2000 I got my First PC. I was 12 years old Then.

I changed the screen saver in Windows 98 to That space screen saver, Changed the wallpaper. That was enough to put me on Top of Mount Everest on 1st day !! Was big time on cloud nine.
Win 98 SE ruled those days.

It was PIII, 64 MB SD RAM, Intel 810 Chipset, 15GB Quantum FileBall HDD, 15inch Samsung CRT V55 Motherboard.

Allright, as per d guidelines posted here, u r in right thread, but as per opposite guidelines, u r in wrong thread...