A man is walking by an insane asylum and hears all the residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes him in the eye.
Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen!"...
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A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense.
He didn't want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never have to go to jail with all that money."
And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.
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The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.
So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, “I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George.” Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder, “Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?”
George replied, “Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!”